so last saturday i was left behind like the cheese that stands alone.
my hubby and nugget went to my hubby’s parents house. i chose not to go because i had an earache and was overly tired because of it.
i wasn’t sure what i was going to do with my 3.5 hours of alone time.
i thought i’d vacuum, eat chocolate and perhaps finish watching one of my girly movies (currently in the middle of Breakfast at Tiffany’s). i thought maybe i’d work on a few songs i’ve been writing or make some headway with my long overdue coffee table book that’s been on the back burner. or maybe i’d practice my ballet without nugget trying to go inside the hole of my plie.
but i did none of the above.
oh wait, i did… i ate the chocolate. of course. i always get treats on saturday. just like a puppy. or peculiarly obedient human.
and after i ate my chocolate. i went to the couch and channel surfed and of course, the night that the tv is all mine, there is nothing but bad, boring, evil, or otherwise gross things on.
so i went into my closet and put on my green 4 inch heels that i’ve never worn out, they actually went well with my nightshirt, especially after i put a belt on and turned it into a mini dress. i put on my favorite lip gloss, for no other reason than i always get carried away. i got my itouch and started searching itunes for some new artist that i found on pandora.
i found the perfect song.
i bought it.
i put my itouch in its pad and pressed play to the song i just purchased.
i lied on the couch.
closed my eyes.
breathed deep.
and cried.
and cried.
and then cried a little more.
not sobbing, just regular crying.
but it wasn’t like the crying we do over sentimental things or else happiness or when a song just makes you emotional.
no, i was crying from being so drained. i felt my heart shift into this moment, i finally had a moment to cry without being afraid that nugget or my husband might see. i’ve been going through a lot for the past ten months, i have never talked about it here, only because i haven’t decided if i want to. i still haven’t decided.
the song ended and i wiped the last of my tears while saying a prayer.
i went to the office and worked on some unfinished poetry for the rest of the time.
and that was it.
that was my night of freedom.
it’s ok though. i needed that moment more than a chick flick.
and… after a dim-lit moment, comes a bright distinction (sooner or later)
xo
hello lovelies…
i have been spending time adoring the sun, trees, blue skies and all the earthly sounds that God created to perfection.
and i also went to two, count ‘em, TWO fairs within three days.
the photo above is from yesterday’s fair. i quite like it.
i went on the carousel at each one. of course it is my favorite ride. it always has been. even when my girlfriends would laugh at me and tell me “uh, no, sorry amy… i just caaan’t“ when i’d ask them to join me for a twirl on it. i’d shrug it off and go on some crazy ride that made us laugh and scream super annoyingly. looking back now, of course i would tell my little twelve year old self to go on the carousel and live it up without your too-cool-for-school-so-afraid-the-hot-guy-they-like-might-see-them, friends. but now that i’m a mom i can go on any ride i please and no one says anything when you’re holding on to a little dumpling.
i will talk about my saturday night before the weeks up. and i am not going to embellish one bit, so be prepared to realize just how lame one young woman can be.
i also have some more fair photographs to share.
hope you are having a lovely day.
xo
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen
Mark 11:22-24
So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God”
For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.
Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them and you will have them.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
i am so happy that lace is back!
especially in such lovely styles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the husband took the child to the grandparents.
don’t bug out your eyes too much when i admit this, but nugget is 3 and this is roughly the third time that he has gone somewhere with his Dad only.
not counting the park or grocery store.
so it’s VERY weird for me to be here alone, for hours. it’s sorta like i wanna do so much because i have this opportunity but then again i want to do nothing because i have this opportunity.
i am sure i’ll vacuum something.
i am sure i’ll eat the 3 reeses peanut butter cups that i hid from my husband because he always cone heads my treats and then professes that he ate them like a speedy sow because he loves me and he’s protecting my immune system.
i am sure i’ll ignore the phone because i am not going to spend this – once in a blue moon – alone time on the phone.
ok. so what do i have so far?
let’s see.
vacuuming, eating reeses, ignoring people who want to talk to me.
sounds like a list that belongs to a disgruntled 74 year old.
in my defense, i do have an ear ache, which is why i chose to stay home.
not in my defense, i delight in vacuuming and i am truly sick of the phone.
i’ll let you know how it all ended. 
xo
i had planned on writing a longer, more important post.
but unfortunately, as i was taking the chicken nuggets out of the oven this evening, i burnt my arm with the cookie sheet.
i blamed it on the fact that i presently only have one oven glove but the real reason is that i was trying to be skillful by flipping the nuggets by hand while holding the cookie sheet.
why would one do this you ask?
i asked around. nobody knows.
it’s one of those things you don’t think about while doing, but after something horrible happens in the process of it, you marvel at your unsolved stupidity.
ouch-eee.
hope you have a lovely friday night.
xo
