taking a long break.

not sure when i’ll be back.

but i’m sure i will be.

xo

a couple  things.

firstly, this summer is going by way too fast. not just “oh dear, where did the time go? but - am i alone so i can wail about the fact that it’s almost over.

and secondly, there’s a fudge cake in my fridge that i want to devour like cookie monster. i haven’t devoured a cake in a while. & the last time i ate too much cake i felt very very gross. like i wanted to just smack my own face and pop myself with a pin. so i’m leaning towards no, but my house is small so the kitchen is always close no matter where i am.

the only thing i’m looking forward to this winter is the possibility of having a bun in the oven. no, i’m not becoming a baker.  i want another baby! already have the names. already have had one panic attack cuz i started thinking too much about what i went thru when i was pregnant with luke. and already stared out the window like Anne of Green Gables while reflecting on how different life will be once i have another.

so yes, i’m a giant nerd and yes, i am ready! although i asked luke if he wanted a baby brother or sister and he said “um, no thank you” ha. too cute.

hope your monday was as fun as a monday can be.

xo

]]> http://www.easydoesus.com/journal/denial/feed/ 0 http://www.easydoesus.com/journal/4354/ http://www.easydoesus.com/journal/4354/#comments Sat, 23 Jul 2011 17:43:31 +0000 amy http://www.easydoesus.com/?p=4354

we’ve been loving the beach this year!  we even went last wednesday when there was a heat index of 110. i had a few people tell us “don’t forget to drink water!” uh, gee, danks! sheer brilliance!  sorry don’t mean to poke fun at their relevant worry, oh wait, yes i do! it’s funny!

anyway, yesterday my husband took luke to my mother-in-laws at 9 a.m. so he could spend the day with her. i have not been without luke very much. & the only times i’ve was been away from him in the morning is when i’m at some appointment, which is very few and far between, so i’m not at home without him, i’m in some building imagining his little face on every circular object.  so where am i going with this long winded intro?

well, i’m just saying, it was SO weird to be here without him. the air was different, if that makes sense. i just sorta looked around and thought, ugh, this is dreadful. i missed my Lukie in mere minutes!

then i pulled myself together and thought, ok, let’s get stuff done. and by let’s, i mean me & all my alter egos. just kiddn. i think.

but seriously, i was really ready to conquer stuff that’s been on my to do list, the things that are hardest to get done with a youngin’ around.

so what did i do? not much!

but i did do a few things that i have not done in a while, and here they are listed in chronological order:

1) practiced my piano with the volume very high (it’s a keyboard-piano)

2) danced in my underwear to Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA”

3) watched some tv while i ate my lunch (i pretty much never watch tv during the day, unless i’m sick)

4) sat at my desk in complete peace (no tv, not even the slightest noise…. this was weird!) & went thru old cards, stationary & what nots.

and that’s about it.

hey, i’m not used to being alone so by the time i started to “get things going” i had to leave.

oh well, it was fun!

although i did just re-read what i did and i think i might have done the same exact things when i was 15.

xo

trying to get things organized.  purging and tossing & sometimes doing karate kicks in between it all. not for any danger, just cuz i get annoyed and it releases steam.

that’s my little “people” person in the photo above, i found her and decided she needed her picture taken after being with me for so long. she was always my favorite. but honestly, i have no recollection of “keeping her” it’s like last week she was just lying in, of all places, my lingerie drawer. it was odd to say the least.  & that grin on her face didn’t help matters. it’s like she just knows that i can’t remember and she’s really pleased about it.

today i bought 8 pieces of music at the thrift store (a dime a sheet!) and i came home and opened up one called “springtime” & i played it. i actually played it, just like that. i was so happy. i’m actually still happy. yay progress!

off to dreamland.

good nite!

xo

… pretty much exactly what i expected.

you are pretending to be a hopping potato.

can’t expect much else.

xo

the month of june has been crazy busy. but in a fabulous way.

in a 3 birthday parties for the same child, fun photo sessions, ice cream & playing  in the sun, spontaneous fun kind of way.

we even went to a carnival at night on saturday, which we have never done. we always go in the afternoon.  the photos i took were so dark, there i was in the middle of all the sparkles and laughter, with a professor-contorted face, trying to figure out my (somewhat new) camera.

the shots of luke with his dad on the merry go round were absolutely dreadful. they both looked like melting cookies. i didn’t go on my beloved carousel since i thought i would get some lovely photos. so when my sacrifice didn’t pay off, i was pretty annoyed and felt like running off & stuffing my face with a boatload of cotton candy. but i didn’t since i knew it would make me feel sick. & plus i’m not eight.

then the following day we went to my cousin’s home, and she lives on a farm… i’ll be posting pics of that soon. the vastness of their land made me want to just run and run. and when the sun was going down, the lighting was so marvelous, it made me coo-coo. but in a good way. and not for cocoa puffs.

today i am lying in the sun, working out, & driving out a bit yonder for luke to see his little cousins.

i have made it my mission (more so than ever, it seems) to really make the best of this summer. it took way too long for the weather to get hot, but i shall not pout about the past (well, i already did). the weather is blazing right now & i am in love with it!

happy tuesday. hope your day is swell.

xo

this was last sunday. the day of luke’s carnival party.

i promise i wasn’t this lame during the party but i hit a wall around this photo.

obviously i was having “a moment” here.

and obviously it wasn’t a good one. AND i didn’t think my mom was going to snap the pic right when i was in the middle of it.

but you know what? i’m all about keeping it real (not too much, but on occasion) so here it is. a weird photo. a photo that shows me being a big baby about something.

i was annoyed with something. and then i felt spazzy. and then i felt frizzy. and then i didn’t want to take a picture.

something like that.

i swear, sometimes if i wasn’t me, i’d be pretending i didn’t know me.

ugh.

xo

all on his own, luke tells me he loves me.

& he also gives me kisses without me even having to ask… see above.

he is just the sweetest, happiest, cutest thing  i’ve ever known.  he brightens my day in such a way that i can’t compare it to anything else, it’s too unique.

when i got pregnant, a part of me was so afraid that my life would never be the same.

thank God, i was very right!!

xo

memorial day was a lovely day, noted above.

the weather was perfectly hot.

i forgot my badminton set which was a bummer, for me. no one else seemed to mind as they all laughed and conversed joyously while playing bags.

i like bags, but i love badminton.

i played tennis in high school and barely ever since, so for me, badminton is the closest thing i’ve got to the court.

& i’m a pretty fiesty badminton player which i don’t run into, ever. i mean my sister is “fake fiesty” just to get some laughs. and boys don’t count since they are just rough and mangle things in general.

i have a fire in my belly when a game begins. & yeah, maybe sometimes it’s the barbecue chicken i just ate, but let me tell you. after i pretend the racket is a guitar and make fun of my brother’s hair a couple times, it’s on!

well, i have a kitchen to clean. thank God i can open my windows and feel a warm breeze, that is truly fancifull for me! love it.

have a good nite.

xo

i love remembering.

sometimes i am guilty of thinking about things in the past that were sad & painful, but i guess we all think of those memories at times right? i reach to them a lot when i am writing my poetry and stories as they are a fantastic means for true emotion.

anyway, today is going to be a hot day & summer makes me extra nostalgic.

oh the memories! (again, not all good ones. like, well, my “fat” summer, the summer my teen boyfriend left me for good,  the summer most everyone was 21 except me! the summer i got fired from the library, oh wait… that is a good memory)

try to lean back today, close your eyes (even if just for a moment) and think of some of your favorite memories.

the sort that draw a smile on your face that makes you look like you’re up to something…

… and who knows, maybe you are.

xo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ps the picture above is from a 2009 road trip we took to Tennessee, and then i put the fun polaroid and texture on it via picnik.com